upbeat or avoiding

My mind is full of confused thoughts and actions. I wish there was one specific thing I could do that made everything wish I could be right now. Being completely happy. But no, there’s always something interfering. So, I’m quite clueless to what my goal is yet I do know what thing for sure is that I am not going to lose this. Even though I thought about it countless times because my heart and mind is to a point where I can’t take it anymore, I just need to remind myself not to give up. Feels like a competition but if you’re going to play like this, well, bring it on. Ugh, but then I’m at a point where I just want to give up. Wow, I have issues. It’s hard to trust or rely on the small stories that are being put together. I simply just wish people were loyal to each other and respects people’s personal intimacy. That’s all I want. Tomorrow, man I don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I can either be ‘upbeat’ and act like I never heard any of this and keep surviving this or avoid everyone for awhile. Decisions decisions… we’ll see.